Feedback: Always appreciated - perhobfan@yahoo.co.uk
Pairing: Everyone eventually
Warnings: Angst! Silly humour. Stereotyping. Dodgy characterisation – you have been warned.
Rating: This episode, PG15
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No profit is made nor offence intended.

Summary: Viggo is with Elijah who was previously with Billy who is now with Dominic. Dominic knows that Billy tried to get back with Elijah, unsuccessfully. Ian is with Tobey Maguire and loving it.

Episode 10:
The One Where Dom And Billy Fight Over The Wet Patch

Scene: Ian McKellen’s apartment.

Ian imagines running his hands lovingly up and down the tender flesh that presents itself so enticingly, and he giggles. Tobey flips over onto his side, his chin on his elbow and smiles questioningly at his lover.

“What are you thinking, old man?” he asks, but the words are affectionate and Ian returns the smile.

“I’m thinking that if you don’t run along to that premiere soon you’ll be disappointing some very ardent fans of the arachnid adoring variety. And we can’t have that, can we?”

Tobey considers the question.

“True, Ian, very true. But let me put it to you-"

(“Oh, I wish you would”, thinks Ian, his bottom already beginning to thrum in anticipation of another good seeing to).

“...my love. Do my fans own me? Am I at their beck and call?” Tobey raises an eyebrow quizzically. His lazy, idiosyncratic way of speaking has totally endeared itself to Ian.

“But of course. Our fans are our very food, Tobey. Never forget that, my love,” Ian is sometimes a little shocked at the cavalier attitude the young affect. “Now get dressed, my love, and go press some flesh.”

Tobey reluctantly gets to his feet. He turns at the bathroom door, levelling the wizard with a wondrous gaze. “Will you be in later, Ian?” he asks simply.

“Well, I can hardly go anywhere, can I darling?” Ian replies, gently. Tobey grins. “Good, it’s a date!”

On the rug, cocooned snugly in several yards of fishing line, Ian considers himself to have been well and truly spidey’d.

And its really very, very nice.

Scene: Billy Boyd’s apartment

“I told you to get Stains R Us in to sort out this carpet, Bills. But would you listen? No.” Dom is fed up. Absolutelyfrickinfedup. The stain on Billy’s beautiful new carpet has now spread to monstrous proportions, helped by the ripple effect. The more they scrub, the more it grows. And it’s now 10 p.m. on a Saturday night and Dom can think of better things to do in the city on a Saturday night than scrub at a frickin rug.

“Shut yer whining, Dom, and scrub. We’ll give it another five minutes and then call it a night.” Billy wipes his sweaty brow and goes back to scrubbing. Dom contemplates telling him he now has commando style camouflage on his forehead, but he does not. Ha chuffing ha.

“So,” he asks, casually, tongue out in concentration as he scrubs, “spoken with Lij lately?” He flicks a quick glance over at the Scot and notices that his hand clenches tightly on the sopping wet cloth he is using. Soapy water oozes through Billy’s nimble fingers and down his wrists.

“No, not since that last day before he found out about us. Why do you ask?” Billy turns his wide, luminous forest green eyes on Dom.

“Oh, no reason,” says Dom, equally innocently. For a moment the two continue to scrub with renewed vigour.

“Just thought you might miss the Star Trek sex, that’s all.... " Dom glares at Billy, his battleship hued eyes blazing. He has put this off long enough! Time for the truth. Billy’s mouth has opened very wide and Dominic has the urge to stuff an apple in there.

“You asked him to take you back! You want him back!” Dom growls. In his fury, the bucket of soapy water goes over. “Admit it!”

Billy is speechless. He remembers calling Elijah at his apartment, the ultimatum... but that was then and this is now.

“Dom, you heard me?” he asks, his face ashen. His answer is Dom’s own face, so stricken and betrayed. Oh no.

“If you wanted Bendy Boy back, you should have said,” says Dom, softly and sadly. Part of him wishes this genie was back in its bottle, safe and secure.

“I don’t-“

“You do! I heard you. Every word... you thought I was asleep,” Dom can feel the tear trickle down his cheek but he makes no move to wipe it away. Damn! Why must men be so open with their emotions and so damned sensitive? The curse of the gender, obviously, Dom thinks, miserably. He wishes he was a woman, to be able to shut himself off from all this soul searching...

“I did want him. I loved him – still do – but not like I love you. I panicked.” Billy lays a tentative hand on Dom’s heaving shoulder and sighs, heavily. Might as well get it off his chest. “I got it from Gustav on the gate that Viggo was with Elijah. And I saw red. I mean bright, London bus, Orli velvet pants, fire engine red...

Dom opens his eyes and stares numbly at Billy. “And if he had said ‘yes’? Would you have gone to him? Would you?” he needs to know.

Billy is silent for a moment. His canny mind has gone off on a tangent, wondering how much Stains R Us will now charge to clean the entire damned carpet...

“I don’t know is the honest answer. I will never know. But part of me was relieved. Elijah is so damned – chirpy. He was wearing me down. You build me up, Dom.” He takes his lover’s strong chin in his hand and leans in for a very soft kiss. Dom holds back, sniffling. Billy presses harder, pouring as much love and commitment as he possibly can into that sweet melding of lips.

Then Dom is pressing back and they are glued together on the carpet, writhing, and it’s all new between them again. Eventually, flushed and hard as a platinum splinter, they part and with words unspoken roll away from the very large damp patch. Time to create a different, more interesting, one.

In bed.

Scene: Tobey’s apartment. 3 a.m. It’s dark and quiet. Crickets can be heard making their rawping noise outside by the luxury swimming pool.

There is a gasp.

The bedside lamp is flicked on, and then crashes to the floor.

A wide eyed Tobey sits bolt upright in bed, the horror of realisation writ large on his pale face.

“Oh fuck!” he says. “Ian...”

To be continued